DWI driver blames LeBron James

Amid the week's wackiness, this one might've gotten lost: A man from Flint, Michigan was so upset over LeBron James' decision to leave Cleveland for Miami -- instead of Boston -- that he got drunk and drove around with a sign on his SUV. Police flagged him for a flagrant foul.

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“We are all WITNESS’s to a quitter,“ wrote the poor-spelling, drunk-driving, one-state-over Celtics fan.

Police stopped him “after watching his vehicle drift over the center line and the shoulder of the road at 2:40 a.m. July 11,” reports The Flint Journal.

“When asked if he'd been drinking the man said that he had been drinking, and it was because LeBron James had decided to play for the Miami Heat instead of the Boston Celtics,” the story says.

The guy apparently blew an 0.16 on the breath test -- the equivalent of a double-technical ejection. If I were the judge, I’d sentence him to buy season tickets for the Cavs next year -- and assign a parole officer to make sure he attends EVERY game.