You know when you’re addressing an email and you type a person’s name, a pull-down menu appears and lists everyone you’ve ever corresponded with whose name begins with those letters? This function is meant to make life more convenient. That chill up your spine? That’s just an added bonus. Momic Relief
EILEEN KELLY: The Ghost of Mrs. Riccardi
You know when you’re addressing an email and you type a person’s name, a pull-down menu appears and lists everyone you’ve ever corresponded with whose name begins with those letters? This function is meant to make life more convenient. That chill up your spine? That’s just an added bonus. EILEEN KELLY: Do we have to spell it out for you men?
When a couple is trying to communicate something they don’t want their young kids to hear, they will often spell. I can’t do this. Why? Because this is generally how it goes in my house: Me: "Should we take the kids for i-c-e c-r-e-a-m after dinner?" Him: "Ice Cream!" EILEEN KELLY: I heart New York
I’m on the C train and this very well-dressed woman gets on with a wire-hair terrier contained in a stylish Burberry dog carrier. I’m a dog lover, so when she sits down across from me I smile at her and then at the dog. It takes me a full minute to realize: That dog is stuffed. And by stuffed, I mean taxidermied. The dog is dead. EILEEN KELLY: I love/hate Costco
I just had a Costco lunch. Not a slice of pizza or hot dog at the store, but a lunch comprised of the weird collection of food in my fridge that Costco forces me to get rid of in order to make room for the gigantic quantities of food I just bought there. I love/hate Costco. EILEEN KELLY: I'm too old for this (stuff)
Don’t be friends with actors. Sure they’re wonderful and talented and fun, but you turn around and you’re forty-one years old and they’re still asking you to help them move. If you’ve got a bag of feathers I’ll help you move it. Otherwise, I’m too old. Hire movers. Paying your friends in beer and a pizza for moving the entire contents of your apartment doesn’t cut it anymore. And while I'm at it....EILEEN KELLY: Lookin' out for No. 1
I’m on a bus from New York City yesterday and two women are behind me talking so loudly that, after fighting it off for about five minutes, I had to give up trying to have my own thoughts and eavesdrop on their conversation. “Don’t be comin’ to me for marital advice because I ain’t the one. Girl, I am tellin’ you I have about had it...."EILEEN KELLY: When love isn't enough
There are topics people won't touch at cocktail parties because it’s not “polite conversation.” These are subjects folks secretly want to discuss, but, when broached over hummus and Merlot, makes them uncomfortable. These are precisely the things I like to discuss. So here goes: My husband and I just graduated from couple’s therapy.
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