Like most children, Amelia tests her boundaries. On occasion, she has “acted out.” But she‘s a beautiful child, born to innocence, not understanding what she saw yet acting the best she can.
Jorge Araujo
And like most temporarily placed foster children, she didn’t ask for these circumstances. God know, she certainly expected to live much of her life with her biological parents, much as others like her.
The world is a cruel place, and knowing that alone won’t make it change or go away. I feel it is our duty to help the Amelias -- to nurture them and teach them that not all adults are bad.
We’ve had other Amelias. And the question has been the same: “How can you give up this kid without it tearing your guts out?”
You know what? WE CAN’T! Each child is deserving of love, stability, understanding, and you simply cannot provide that without getting attached.
Every time DYFS comes to us, we ask whether the parent is seeking to regain custody. One thing we must never forget is that it’s really, really hard for even the worst parent to give up his or her own kid. To my knowledge, they have anywhere from 6 to 18 months to get their shit together so they can ask a judge to award them “re-custody.”
If they haven’t completed the requirements, the judge may grant an extension. And then possibly another. And more after that.
See where I’m going with this?
You can easily hit the lottery and get the opportunity to adopt one of these poor youngsters. Even if the parents rescind their rights, they have up to a YEAR to find a family member who can obtain custody.
My question is: Where were these relatives when DYFS placed the child with US?
Of course, after the process has run it’s course and no one steps up -- then they come to you. They move like the wind, going to court, getting all the proper paperwork in order, the psychologists, MDs, etc. In a matter of weeks you are adopting that child.
To which I say: Strike while the iron is hot!
I love Amelia and so does my wife.
But we’ve been told her mother wants her back.
I love this little girl. I’m her father, her teacher, her friend. I am there to show her right from wrong. I am responsible for her safety and security. If she falls behind in school, I have to help her study. When she gets sick, Bonnie and I have to nurse her back to health.
Amelia is a walking video recorder. Everything she sees or hears is “locked in” till the end of her life. That means I must be the model by which she will one day judge ALL men. I must always be on my best behavior.
She should know no hardship while in my care; that is the truth of the matter. As sure as if she came from my loins, it is up to me to help mold her heart and mind, while passing on all the love I can.
I would give my life for that little girl, because that is my duty as a parent. To show Amelia her place in the universe. To bring out that light inside of her for all to see. To let her know that someone thinks of her before themselves -- that she has not been forsaken out of convenience.
It will hurt, for sure, if Amelia leaves me. It may just tear my heart out. But I will know that I showed her that not all men are evil, that everyone is deserving of compassion, and that all you can do is your best.
To me, it’s the best part of being alive.
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