JOURNEYS: 40 fits fine

The big 4-0 is coming up for me, and I can tell you: I've got mixed feelings about it. It's so irritating when someone says all sing-songy: “Y'know, 40 is the new 30.” Ever notice that it's always people in their 40s saying that?

It would impress me more if someone in their 20s said that to me -- without trying to be nice.

Renee Antonelli Valente

When you look at it, is 40 a big deal? Not really. But I think it scares a lot of people, even though, based on our life expectancy today, it's midlife. It's the age when a lot of us begin to realize the world around us is getting younger. The actors and actresses, the music, the people at work.

The ticking clock forces you to examine your status in life. Are you happy? Do you want for anything? Are you where you need to be, live, work, etc.?

For some, options become fewer as we age. So, at 40, we begin to feel a sense of urgency to set life’s direction and find a way through the complexity of how to get there.

We've got other issues to juggle -- and jiggle. Some of us get larger, less fit, our hair thinner or grayer, our skin less taut.

But for a fortunate few of us, something else happens: We realize that these subtleties, and not-so-subtleties, add patina to our lives. How we glow!

I understand life’s limitations and expectations now. I know the game, and the rules. I know that I will falter, that I will be weak and I will be strong. I will triumph and I will fail. I will push the envelope as far as I can, knowing that, at the end of the day, it's all going to come out in the wash.

Through my failures and triumphs, my weaknesses and strengths, I've gotten some intensive on-the-job training. My younger counterparts can't hold a candle to that.

Only years of fine-tuning can give you that self-confidence and self-assuredness, a sense of humor about the world.

There's something beautiful about a mature mind, in knowing what you want and how to get it. That is the parting gift life bestows upon us in exchange for our time.

I don’t envy the 20-somethings anymore. I realize they just aren't in on the joke yet. They’ll catch up eventually -- and when they do, we’ll have a whole lot more to teach ‘em.

She moved to Wayne, but this Union Hill High School grad never left her roots. Renee Antonelli Valente is a true 'tweener', book-ended by a feisty mom in her 70s and her own inquisitive grade-schoolers. Still, she finds time to rock out. Write to her at: This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

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