SPOILER ALERT: If you haven't seen " SATC2" but still plan to, plotlines are revealed in this column... er, letter.
You’re a funny writer, Michael (can I call you Michael?). What happened? I mean: “Erin go braless”? Really? All that set-up for a tired, decades-old St. Patrick’s Day joke? And speaking of huge set-ups for old jokes, a camel ride in the desert and Kristin Davis so obviously manipulating her Arabian pants, all so Carrie can tell Charlotte she has camel toe? I’d say it was a long way for a hot dog, but it was more like an empty bun.
Eileen Kelly
Look, Michael, I love your writing, I love the girls, I love the clothes. But scene after one-dimensional scene, with acting so presentational it felt like a corny old movie -- sweet and surfacy but it’s from the Forties so you forgive it -- and all these long, dramatic pauses on things like Carrie fluffing her blue silk curtain (“women like curtains”) and applying Middle Eastern makeup that makes her eyes look no different than they do every night, I mean: What gives?
I saw the groundwork being laid for Stanford and Anthony with the New Year’s kiss in the first movie. It felt forced but OK. It was a New Year’s Eve party, they were tipsy -- I’ll give you that one. But marriage? It’s not like they’re the only two gay cowboys on the mountain. It felt like freshman year in college, when I introduced my only two black friends, hoping they’d date and fall in love.
On to Abu Dhabi: Four dynamic women in the Middle East.I get what you were trying to do. And I disagree with reviewers who say there was no reason for the girls to be there. The device to get them there was perfectly sound. The whole thing could’ve been a powerful story line. But the scene with Samantha and her condoms in the market was cartoonish. And “I Am Woman”? Oofah. Even the karaoke was heavy-handed. It seemed as though, after more than a decade of being so spot-on, you suddenly forgot what women are like.
And that ring at the end. Maybe I wouldn’t have minded it so much if I didn’t already feel extremely patronized. I spent two hours having my hopes dashed, so my bullshit meter was already pinned in the red. Yet I waffled between believing it made sense and wondering whether you sat at your computer asking yourself, “Now what would make a happy ending for a woman? I know: JEWELRY!”
Look, it’s not all bad. There were two scenes that actually felt real. Or maybe more like one and a half. It's the part where Charlotte and Miranda are at the bar talking about how difficult motherhood is. It was that old "SATC" magic. Style, fun and humor hanging on the solid bones of real emotion.
The scene before that, when Charlotte breaks down in the kitchen and locks herself in the pantry. I believed that, too -- except why was she wearing a vintage couture skirt to make cupcakes? You’re asking too much of us there.
There is some more: The New Yorker review scene felt honest. And Bravo for sticking it to the New Yorker. Well done.
This was hard, Michael, but it had to be said. I’m one of your biggest fans. I’ve seen every episode of the series and loved the first movie -- so much, in fact, that I wrote a scathing letter to the editor of the New Yorker in its defense after reading Anthony Lane’s over-the-top annihilation complete with repulsive caricatures of the girls.
I can’t imagine the pressure of living up to everyone’s "SATC" expectations. But you coasted here, Michael. There’s no other way to say it. You rested on your laurels and got lazy.
I’d hate for this to be the last we see of "SATC." You want to end on a high note. But unless you’re willing to dig deep for the real stuff, I’ll have to stick to reruns, thank you.
Still your biggest (but honest) fan,
Eileen Kelly
Eileen Kelly was a semi-finalist in Nick at Nite’s “Search for the Funniest Mom in America,” and made a name for herself with " My Pony's in the Garage," which premiered at the NY Fringe Festival. She is currently writing a memoir based on her solo show and has written several treatments and spec scripts for television. She likes Springsteen, cheap beer and good Italian bread. Did we mention she’s from Jersey?
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LTS
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What a fine looking fella! Michael Patrick King, your a fine looking fella, I think you look best when your clad out in leather! Your curly locks are like brown silvery threads, gently Weaved around at the top of your head! Have I mentioned how clever and imaginative you are, your the best writer/director in L.A. by far! Your spell bounding stories, are like superglue, ignore all those critics, cos they're talking Pooh! I hope with these words, I have got your attention, cos I think I can offer you, a new dimension! I have an idea, for a new film, up north, if your impressed, it could be followed by a forth! I'm not looking for stardom, or even a credit, now don't get excited cos you've not even read it! I could sketch you some boards, to get out the plot, C'mon my wee laddie, I need funds for ma yacht! Well then, If you want my idea's, give me a tweet, even if you don't, I'll still think that your sweet! So good bye, farewell, God bless and take care, now, don't get too excited and fall down the stair! NO OFFENCE INTENDED - kuriouscat. |
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